I absolutely love this statement: “As you learn to do such things, you spend more time than you thought, but that time is an investment in future competence.” What a worthwhile investment it is.
I was surveying the detritus in my kitchen after my canning session last night LOL — I’m on a learning curve with my pressure canner! But it’s worth it!
Just wanted to send a thank you Leila - I’ve been despairing about the state of the house bathrooms for months now. Just yesterday I decided to take action…. Went to Walmart armed with volume #3 of the Summa Domestica and bought all the cleaning products that I have not had after living on my own for almost 10 years 🤯
I was so excited to take a shower this morning and admire the squeaky clean tub. Next step, putty knife and silicone caulk.
Another result of having spare time is that you can offer to help friends and neighbours in the moment rather than have a vague sense of guilt that you “should” help “sometime”. I am lucky to have been on the receiving end of this sort of blessing. If my neighbour sees me struggling out the door with my gaggle, she will often offer to watch them while I run a (now quick) errand.
I love this. As a newer full time housewife I am learning how to manage a more open schedule. I have made a list of skills I want to improve and when I have some unscheduled time I just look at that list and dive into working on a new skill, like sewing, for example.
So, the other night around the dinner table, my husband was asking all of us what super power we would choose if we could have one. Mine was bi-location, and immediately the kids started saying, "Oh yeah! So you can be cleaning *while* homeschooling *while* keeping (3 yr old) from destroying the house..." etc etc. LOL. Yep! They also noted, to my chagrin, that if I had said superpower I'd be less likely to be in what they have coined as "vacuum mood" (vacuum mood is apparently when I am shouting at various children to come get their dang junk/treasures off the floor so I can vacuum it in the .03 seconds I have away from the baby!!). Sigh.
Perhaps, in my current phase of life, (ie, homeschooling 4 elementary-age kids, and keeping the pretty mischievous 3 yr old and ever-more -mobile 12 month old from self-destruction/house-destruction), the "leeway" you're speaking about here is going to have to look different! I feel like I am doing something wrong, despite as much organization and pre-planning as I can muster, because it feels like every minute, almost, of my day is claimed by the myriad things that must get done. I find that as soon as I think, "Ah! At last, I can now sit down and look at the daily readings, or get a 10 minute exercise in, or tackle a bit of housecleaning/organizing/planning that is needed!", someone pops up from a nap, the kids are ready for a snack/book to be read, or the two littles really just need my undivided attention! LOL! Is that just the normal for now, or am I missing something! (and we don't even have any of our kids in after-school sports or activities; this is just the daily needs I'm talking about which seem to take up the whole day!). I'd love to hear more about these intense years and what extra time for housewifely activities might look like! :)
Yes, so busy! On my other blog I have so many strategies for this phase with a large family. But there's no question that there's hardly any time to sit down.
It's important to have rest time *for everyone* (or if they are older and just can't rest more than 1/2 an hour, they can go outside and leave the house quiet). It should last at least an hour.
Snacks and book reading for the most part should be scheduled. Loosely, but still. You'll go mad if you are just "responding" to requests for snacks and books!
I can't put it all in a comment, but I do have 17 years' worth of musings on the topic over at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
My larger point is this: All these tasks and duties become burdensome to the point of intolerability if we don't understand that they take *time*. If we look at the time for, say, folding laundry as expendable on some other, "more important or valuable" pursuit, we will begin to hate the work of the home.
Paradoxically, what I have found is that peacefully accepting the round of duties -- in the service of those we love most -- gave me mental space and spiritual space to think my thoughts and even engage in "kitchen sink philosophy" -- those little moments of contemplation in the midst of all the busyness, not to mention be present to those aforementioned loved ones!
I know we're not supposed to say that... we're supposed to be above cleaning toilets and sweeping up yard dirt in the kitchen, and be somehow monetizing that time. But then, all that has to be done! It's amazing how freeing it is to accept it.
Thank you. Yes, I think I just needed to hear that in fact, at this stage, leisure and leeway might come in the moments nursing the baby, and reading before (almost instantly!) falling asleep at night; and I won’t necessarily be able to tackle the bigger home projects until later!
I definitely understand the bigger point: these things take time and are worth it! I’m probably at the other end of the spectrum where I actually just wish I had *more* time to more thoroughly scrub tubs and grout and dust the high places 🤣 but am still buried under babies! Which I know I will miss in another decade or so. Thank you for your voice of encouragement and sanity. (And all the archives on LMLD. I have gotten so much from them over the years!)
Nicole, you are definitely not missing anything in my estimation. Especially in homeschooling young children- your minutes are all taken up! I think in the future when all of your children can read and be trusted to do some schoolwork independently, let’s say, for a few hours a day giving you some time back, you may be tempted during that next phase - especially comparing it to your time now, and say: look! I have these 2 hours of free time, every other day , maybe I should take on a bit of paid work?(for example), but really that free time and margin is such a value to your family and community.. keeping it open for the unexpected (sick family members, a meal for a family in need, last minute babysitting for a friend, etc.) But right now you aren’t doing anything wrong!! Margin will come…!
I absolutely love this statement: “As you learn to do such things, you spend more time than you thought, but that time is an investment in future competence.” What a worthwhile investment it is.
I was surveying the detritus in my kitchen after my canning session last night LOL — I’m on a learning curve with my pressure canner! But it’s worth it!
Just wanted to send a thank you Leila - I’ve been despairing about the state of the house bathrooms for months now. Just yesterday I decided to take action…. Went to Walmart armed with volume #3 of the Summa Domestica and bought all the cleaning products that I have not had after living on my own for almost 10 years 🤯
I was so excited to take a shower this morning and admire the squeaky clean tub. Next step, putty knife and silicone caulk.
Thank you for your help and guidance!
Wonderful!
Another result of having spare time is that you can offer to help friends and neighbours in the moment rather than have a vague sense of guilt that you “should” help “sometime”. I am lucky to have been on the receiving end of this sort of blessing. If my neighbour sees me struggling out the door with my gaggle, she will often offer to watch them while I run a (now quick) errand.
I love this. As a newer full time housewife I am learning how to manage a more open schedule. I have made a list of skills I want to improve and when I have some unscheduled time I just look at that list and dive into working on a new skill, like sewing, for example.
So, the other night around the dinner table, my husband was asking all of us what super power we would choose if we could have one. Mine was bi-location, and immediately the kids started saying, "Oh yeah! So you can be cleaning *while* homeschooling *while* keeping (3 yr old) from destroying the house..." etc etc. LOL. Yep! They also noted, to my chagrin, that if I had said superpower I'd be less likely to be in what they have coined as "vacuum mood" (vacuum mood is apparently when I am shouting at various children to come get their dang junk/treasures off the floor so I can vacuum it in the .03 seconds I have away from the baby!!). Sigh.
Perhaps, in my current phase of life, (ie, homeschooling 4 elementary-age kids, and keeping the pretty mischievous 3 yr old and ever-more -mobile 12 month old from self-destruction/house-destruction), the "leeway" you're speaking about here is going to have to look different! I feel like I am doing something wrong, despite as much organization and pre-planning as I can muster, because it feels like every minute, almost, of my day is claimed by the myriad things that must get done. I find that as soon as I think, "Ah! At last, I can now sit down and look at the daily readings, or get a 10 minute exercise in, or tackle a bit of housecleaning/organizing/planning that is needed!", someone pops up from a nap, the kids are ready for a snack/book to be read, or the two littles really just need my undivided attention! LOL! Is that just the normal for now, or am I missing something! (and we don't even have any of our kids in after-school sports or activities; this is just the daily needs I'm talking about which seem to take up the whole day!). I'd love to hear more about these intense years and what extra time for housewifely activities might look like! :)
Yes, so busy! On my other blog I have so many strategies for this phase with a large family. But there's no question that there's hardly any time to sit down.
It's important to have rest time *for everyone* (or if they are older and just can't rest more than 1/2 an hour, they can go outside and leave the house quiet). It should last at least an hour.
Snacks and book reading for the most part should be scheduled. Loosely, but still. You'll go mad if you are just "responding" to requests for snacks and books!
I can't put it all in a comment, but I do have 17 years' worth of musings on the topic over at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
Including just to say, yes - -it's busy!!
My larger point is this: All these tasks and duties become burdensome to the point of intolerability if we don't understand that they take *time*. If we look at the time for, say, folding laundry as expendable on some other, "more important or valuable" pursuit, we will begin to hate the work of the home.
Paradoxically, what I have found is that peacefully accepting the round of duties -- in the service of those we love most -- gave me mental space and spiritual space to think my thoughts and even engage in "kitchen sink philosophy" -- those little moments of contemplation in the midst of all the busyness, not to mention be present to those aforementioned loved ones!
I know we're not supposed to say that... we're supposed to be above cleaning toilets and sweeping up yard dirt in the kitchen, and be somehow monetizing that time. But then, all that has to be done! It's amazing how freeing it is to accept it.
Thank you. Yes, I think I just needed to hear that in fact, at this stage, leisure and leeway might come in the moments nursing the baby, and reading before (almost instantly!) falling asleep at night; and I won’t necessarily be able to tackle the bigger home projects until later!
I definitely understand the bigger point: these things take time and are worth it! I’m probably at the other end of the spectrum where I actually just wish I had *more* time to more thoroughly scrub tubs and grout and dust the high places 🤣 but am still buried under babies! Which I know I will miss in another decade or so. Thank you for your voice of encouragement and sanity. (And all the archives on LMLD. I have gotten so much from them over the years!)
Nicole, you are definitely not missing anything in my estimation. Especially in homeschooling young children- your minutes are all taken up! I think in the future when all of your children can read and be trusted to do some schoolwork independently, let’s say, for a few hours a day giving you some time back, you may be tempted during that next phase - especially comparing it to your time now, and say: look! I have these 2 hours of free time, every other day , maybe I should take on a bit of paid work?(for example), but really that free time and margin is such a value to your family and community.. keeping it open for the unexpected (sick family members, a meal for a family in need, last minute babysitting for a friend, etc.) But right now you aren’t doing anything wrong!! Margin will come…!