Any further tips re #2? We are struggling with putting small kids to bed who are too little to read themselves to sleep but need to use the toilet, want a cuddle, need a glass of water … any ideas for adorable miscreants? …TIA!
When all my kids were quite little, we used to bathe them (when needed), do a quick little toy tidy-up, and then read to them and sing our bedtime prayers. They were generally in bed by 7 when they were under age 6. Sometimes, we would do this together, or sometimes one of us would handle that while the other started kitchen clean-up, but generally, we could get the kitchen cleaned up so much faster when the littles were in bed, and we'd still be done before 8 PM. If the kids were going through a "one last thing" phase (totally normal), my husband would post himself outside the room and basically put them back in with a "no, we're all done with (drinks, bathroom, etc" and it stopped after a couple days of that.
The bedtime routine will be as long as they make it. Start the cuddles before you go near their bedrooms. Once you start the routine, it needs to be fairly concise.
Tell them beforehand: This is your drink. Give them water bottles if you want to (my own kids do this with my grandkids, wouldn't have ever occurred to me). And that is that!
Cutting caffeine in the afternoon was a total game changer for me. Caffeine does not affect me so I didn’t think it was necessary to stop after the morning tea. But my doctor said it changes your internal body clock so I would go to sleep easily but would wake up at 3 am and not get back to sleep for an hour or two
Another important reset is to get some natural light before noon. It also helps reset your “clock.”
Same. I fall asleep faster and I wake up less with no PM caffeine. Magnesium supplements also really help me fall back to sleep faster with night wake ups (magnesium powder, and topical magnesium cream). In the afternoon, I will do an electrolyte drink or an "adrenal cocktail" (basically something with minerals and vitamin c, so coconut water + OJ + sea salt for example). This really helps the PM slump!!!
I think I remember you mentioning somewhere that your husband worked from home when your children were little - back before it was such a common thing for dads to work from home. Do you have any tips for wives of nightowl-worker husbands? Mine has busy periods with his job where he works around 60 hours a week - from home, in our bedroom. We have two bedrooms and an open living room/dining room/kitchen combo. The three older kids share the other room, baby shares ours which is also the home office. So it's cozy at our place! Anyway, my struggle is that I'm a light sleeper and can't seem to fall asleep or stay that way with keyboard sounds, and my poor husband has to work more in the evenings after the noisiest family members go to sleep. He starts at 8:30am and comes out for dinner/family time and bedtime routine with the older ones, then back to work after they go to bed around 8:30pm. We're often getting to bed around 1am, then baby wakes and wants nursing and diapering and play/attention at 6am, and the others start to wake around 7:30. It's really not enough sleep for either of us; we're literally burning the candle at both ends. I've been comforting myself with the knowledge that these busy seasons with his work are temporary (usually for 3-4 months at a stretch out of the year). But it's so hard, especially with a little baby, and I always wonder what others do to cope with similar limitations. I know we can't be the only ones!
Oh wow, that's challenging. I can't help too much because we had a very conventional schedule, with him "leaving" for work at 8-8:30 and "coming home" at 5:30 or 6, with breaks in between but otherwise quite shut up in his own space.
I will say that earplugs are a really great invention. I wouldn't advise them for the normal situation, where obviously you need to be alert, but in yours, your husband can jog you awake if need be.
I started using them when my husband started snoring (not drastically, just enough to keep me awake), and they really help me sleep. I am so hyper-conscious of every noise and creak. My earplugs don't even fit in my ears very well. It's something almost psychological that allows me to pull my attention away. A fan helps me too, but obviously I can't use one all the time (and he doesn't like it, so I save it for hot nights).
Earplugs, now there's an idea!! Do you find they are comfortable enough to not be distracting if you lay on your side? I will give it a try! We've tried going to bed early and just waking up extra early for my husband to start work before the sun comes up, but he has a hard time getting his brain in gear with that arrangement. And his job is pretty brain-heavy. In general, he seems to be able to function better with periodic sleep deprivation than I do.
Your conventional schedule sounds very much like ours when my husband is not in the middle of one of these busy periods. Work from home definitely has its pros and cons, but I have to say I am so grateful he's not losing 2hrs a day to a commute on top of the busy periods. At least I get to see him when I bring him lunch, he still eats dinner with us, and I never have to say "wait till your father gets home!" to motivate reformed behavior.
I tend to use the earplugs my husband buys in large quantities for his workshop and to go shooting. They are the orange, rubbery kind you get at Lowes, I guess, in a big plastic container.
When my daughter and I went camping, I realized I forgot them, so I bought some at the pharmacy -- they are also soft and squishy, but smaller, so better for women!
I only sleep on my side so yes, they work for that. You can still hear, too -- it's just that everything gets further away and I instantly get this sort of pulled-in feeling that helps me detach from that "alert" listening that keeps me awake. Honestly, the ones I use hardly fit! It's more psychological at this point!
This is my predominant fault. 🥴
Do your homework!! 😘
Love this!!!
Any further tips re #2? We are struggling with putting small kids to bed who are too little to read themselves to sleep but need to use the toilet, want a cuddle, need a glass of water … any ideas for adorable miscreants? …TIA!
When all my kids were quite little, we used to bathe them (when needed), do a quick little toy tidy-up, and then read to them and sing our bedtime prayers. They were generally in bed by 7 when they were under age 6. Sometimes, we would do this together, or sometimes one of us would handle that while the other started kitchen clean-up, but generally, we could get the kitchen cleaned up so much faster when the littles were in bed, and we'd still be done before 8 PM. If the kids were going through a "one last thing" phase (totally normal), my husband would post himself outside the room and basically put them back in with a "no, we're all done with (drinks, bathroom, etc" and it stopped after a couple days of that.
The bedtime routine will be as long as they make it. Start the cuddles before you go near their bedrooms. Once you start the routine, it needs to be fairly concise.
Tell them beforehand: This is your drink. Give them water bottles if you want to (my own kids do this with my grandkids, wouldn't have ever occurred to me). And that is that!
Cutting caffeine in the afternoon was a total game changer for me. Caffeine does not affect me so I didn’t think it was necessary to stop after the morning tea. But my doctor said it changes your internal body clock so I would go to sleep easily but would wake up at 3 am and not get back to sleep for an hour or two
Another important reset is to get some natural light before noon. It also helps reset your “clock.”
Same. I fall asleep faster and I wake up less with no PM caffeine. Magnesium supplements also really help me fall back to sleep faster with night wake ups (magnesium powder, and topical magnesium cream). In the afternoon, I will do an electrolyte drink or an "adrenal cocktail" (basically something with minerals and vitamin c, so coconut water + OJ + sea salt for example). This really helps the PM slump!!!
I think I remember you mentioning somewhere that your husband worked from home when your children were little - back before it was such a common thing for dads to work from home. Do you have any tips for wives of nightowl-worker husbands? Mine has busy periods with his job where he works around 60 hours a week - from home, in our bedroom. We have two bedrooms and an open living room/dining room/kitchen combo. The three older kids share the other room, baby shares ours which is also the home office. So it's cozy at our place! Anyway, my struggle is that I'm a light sleeper and can't seem to fall asleep or stay that way with keyboard sounds, and my poor husband has to work more in the evenings after the noisiest family members go to sleep. He starts at 8:30am and comes out for dinner/family time and bedtime routine with the older ones, then back to work after they go to bed around 8:30pm. We're often getting to bed around 1am, then baby wakes and wants nursing and diapering and play/attention at 6am, and the others start to wake around 7:30. It's really not enough sleep for either of us; we're literally burning the candle at both ends. I've been comforting myself with the knowledge that these busy seasons with his work are temporary (usually for 3-4 months at a stretch out of the year). But it's so hard, especially with a little baby, and I always wonder what others do to cope with similar limitations. I know we can't be the only ones!
Oh wow, that's challenging. I can't help too much because we had a very conventional schedule, with him "leaving" for work at 8-8:30 and "coming home" at 5:30 or 6, with breaks in between but otherwise quite shut up in his own space.
I will say that earplugs are a really great invention. I wouldn't advise them for the normal situation, where obviously you need to be alert, but in yours, your husband can jog you awake if need be.
I started using them when my husband started snoring (not drastically, just enough to keep me awake), and they really help me sleep. I am so hyper-conscious of every noise and creak. My earplugs don't even fit in my ears very well. It's something almost psychological that allows me to pull my attention away. A fan helps me too, but obviously I can't use one all the time (and he doesn't like it, so I save it for hot nights).
Earplugs, now there's an idea!! Do you find they are comfortable enough to not be distracting if you lay on your side? I will give it a try! We've tried going to bed early and just waking up extra early for my husband to start work before the sun comes up, but he has a hard time getting his brain in gear with that arrangement. And his job is pretty brain-heavy. In general, he seems to be able to function better with periodic sleep deprivation than I do.
Your conventional schedule sounds very much like ours when my husband is not in the middle of one of these busy periods. Work from home definitely has its pros and cons, but I have to say I am so grateful he's not losing 2hrs a day to a commute on top of the busy periods. At least I get to see him when I bring him lunch, he still eats dinner with us, and I never have to say "wait till your father gets home!" to motivate reformed behavior.
I tend to use the earplugs my husband buys in large quantities for his workshop and to go shooting. They are the orange, rubbery kind you get at Lowes, I guess, in a big plastic container.
When my daughter and I went camping, I realized I forgot them, so I bought some at the pharmacy -- they are also soft and squishy, but smaller, so better for women!
I only sleep on my side so yes, they work for that. You can still hear, too -- it's just that everything gets further away and I instantly get this sort of pulled-in feeling that helps me detach from that "alert" listening that keeps me awake. Honestly, the ones I use hardly fit! It's more psychological at this point!