Fewer mealtime struggles
Teach cheerful manners!
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Now that we’ve thought about thanking God for the food, we can turn to the manners of our children!
Modeling what we expect is a start. But there’s more…
Every child needs to speak nicely and politely about the food!
I don’t know where or when it happened that children got a free pass to be ungrateful bratty gremlins, and I have heard of and seen some awful things, even some that may or may not have been in my own family, just because the subject is food.
Parents who are too “nice” or “polite” to discipline are sadly mistaken and doomed to misery in family life.
Everyone from a one-year old on up to the moodiest teenager should thank us for the meal. I love a baby lisping “Fanks, Mama!” Never, ever, “I hate X.” My stepmother wouldn’t even allow me to refer to the food as “stuff.” I mean she would register genuine shock if I used that word.
Teach them to say, “It’s not my favorite, thanks” if they must express an opinion.
Practice at breakfast and lunch — instead of regarding those meals as too insignificant for rectification, meaning we just don’t feel strong enough to do the right thing, if we’re being honest, but we need to gather courage and fight the forces of naughtiness — so supper can be somewhat free of constant correction.
Kids’ quiet time — ten minutes of focused eating after Grace so Mama and Papa can converse — works wonders as well.
Curtail all the whining, despair, and arguments by insisting on courtesy and appreciation.
It’s fine if they don’t like something! There’s bread and butter and no one will starve.
But you have only yourself to blame if their whims and plain old rudeness control the atmosphere at the table.
Instead, let’s enjoy the time by setting the standards from the get-go.
As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, which come from my experience of escaping feminism to enjoy the gift of 46 years of marriage, seven children, and more than a score of grandchildren, and apply them to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!
Be happy at home!
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For the longer version of this Substack and much more on this topic:
My 3-volume book on Order and Wonder in Family Life:
Yesterday I had a migraine and my husband made dinner. My daughter said, "papa, thanks for the hot dogs" and smiled sweetly.
Then she turned to me and said, with all sincerity. "Mama, Thanks for nothing." 😹
Question - if one’s husband is genuinely appreciative but just doesn’t say the words often, how does one insist on saying the words without seeming to rebuke the husband? Breakfast and lunch when he’s not there?