Amiability: kindness
How is it going?
Checking in on the Amiability Pursuit this week, Week Two of Lent. Every Lent is the longest Lent ever. Today, however, is a Solemnity, the Feast of Glorious St. Joseph, so we can relax a little and think things over.
Let me remind you that Lent starts with the devil tempting Christ. We too will be tempted. In the case of pursuing a virtue, the temptation will likely take the form of seeing very clearly how others do not have this virtue and need to work on it. For wives, the revelation will be that husbands are not amiable!
Well, be that as it may (and I’m not saying it’s not true), Lent is for changing ourselves, or trying to, and realizing we need God’s grace or it’s not going to happen.
The next three items on our list are these (here are the first three):
(4) To reply positively when asked to do a favor. Sometimes we have to say no. Sometimes we can say yes. We should lean towards yes, but either way, we should put it positively and as charitably as possible. “God loves a cheerful giver.”
(5) To lend a helping hand to the unfortunate. The unfortunate are likely to be members of our household! It’s good to require a lot from our children, making them work hard. It’s also good to help them out when they are truly struggling. Sometimes the struggle is how they learn, sometimes it’s that they are getting sick or demoralized. The prudent mother uses her judgement.
(6) To please those towards whom one feels repugnance. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24. Sometimes that’s all we’re asked to do — offer pleasant words.
Arthur Rackham, The Wind in the Willows
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My book on how to live with the Liturgical Year: The Little Oratory
As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, coming from my experience of 45 years of marriage and raising seven children, and apply them to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!
I am leaning so deep into Amiability due to these posts. It is exactly what I needed and was actually part of my Lenten plans although I did not know it to be named amiability. Please continue these!! It’s what I need the most help on! Why is there a shift in our amiability towards our children and (and husband) once the children reach a certain age???? I remember being VERY deliberate when they were younger to always respond kindly and always give them a pleasant response with a smile on my face even when disciplining. I especially remember never letting them see me upset with my husband and we never argued in front of them. Then they got to a certain age and my subconscious suddenly thought all that was no longer necessary?!? Oh what a difference in their behavior we would see had they not seen us have our own temper tantrums and respond with annoyance and grief to their small and reasonable requests!! The ONLY bad behavior/unkindness towards each other I see in my children is a 100% imitation of my own actions!! Can we have regular check-ins on amiability even after Lent? Thank you so much for this!!