The housewife prepares for Lent

Almsgiving

Lent begins next week! Yesterday, a word about fasting. Today, almsgiving.

When you go to Mass this Sunday, if you’re Catholic (and maybe in other churches too?), you’ll see that familiar cardboard Catholic Relief Services Rice Bowl and maybe get a talk about how it would be good to give alms in that way, “to eliminate world hunger.”

I get the appeal of checking a box and having something tangible to set out on the table, but I would suggest finding some other way. Here is the information about what that agency really does and where the rice bowl money really goes.

Many a husband, the head of the family, doesn’t have time to investigate everything. So often, it’s up to the wife to propose so he can dispose.

In general, I find people overlook this important dynamic in a marriage: how the husband often relies heavily on his wife’s research, thinking, and prayer; she helps him decide what the family will actually do by giving him a lot of information.

Approaching it that way relieves him of the burden of having to know everything, and relieves her of the burden and responsibility of the final decision. In addition, it relieves the family of conflict and promotes unity. Having heard his wife out, the husband decides, and the grace of his state (his headship) will cover any defects. “What the good man does is always right,” as the fairy tale wisely puts it!

Anyway, as regards Lenten almsgiving, the time to discuss and figure it out is now, as we head towards Ash Wednesday next week.

A good rule of thumb is to try to give as locally as possible and to those who are more in need than oneself, carrying out the due diligence to be sure the alms get to where they are supposed to go.

Many of the poorest in our society are large families where the husband is working and the wife is staying home with the children. Sometimes there are elderly folks near us who are quite cold at the end of winter. The pastor of the parish often has a poor box or fund for the ones he knows need help. Perhaps there is an institute of religious who are living out their vow of poverty. And Christians all over the world suffer for the faith.

A jar or crock on the table can be filled with alms sacrificed for the poor and change from treats foregone, by the family members. Before Holy Week, the final total can be augmented by mother and father and sent to where it’s most needed — and best used.

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As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, coming from my experience of 45 years of marriage and raising seven children, and apply them to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!