Prudence doesn't mean not taking risks
It means making a decision in real life
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Having the good of one’s children at heart and acting on it takes prudence — and a lot of fortitude.
Sometimes I call it “confidence.” The inner strength to do what you know you ought, even though something bad might come of it; even though people might judge you.
I hope you know E. Nesbit’s books and are collecting them all. In The Railway Children, the truly stressed and anxious mother (she has good reason, revealed in the plot) must send her four children off to play on their own, at their summer home where they have retreated to save money.
She asks them not to walk on the line of the nearby railway.
“Not if we face the way the train’s coming?” asked Peter, after a gloomy pause, in which glances of despair were exchanged.
“No—really not,” said Mother.
Then Phyllis said, “Mother, didn’t you ever walk on the railway lines when you were little?”
Mother was an honest and honourable Mother, so she had to say, “Yes.”
“Well, then,” said Phyllis.
“But, darlings, you don’t know how fond I am of you. What should I do if you got hurt?”
“Are you fonder of us than Granny was of you when you were little?” Phyllis asked. Bobbie made signs to her to stop, but Phyllis never did see signs, no matter how plain they might be…
… “Very well, then. Only let me be sure you do know which way the trains come—and don’t walk on the line near the tunnel or near corners.”
“Trains keep to the left like carriages,” said Peter, “so if we keep to the right, we’re bound to see them coming.”
“Very well,” said Mother, and I dare say you think that she ought not to have said it. But she remembered about when she was a little girl herself, and she did say it—and neither her own children nor you nor any other children in the world could ever understand exactly what it cost her to do it.
Prudence doesn’t mean not taking risks. It means knowing how things are, as best as you can, and deciding what to do, right then.
*I recommend trying to buy an old copy of this book.
As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, which come from my experience of escaping feminism to enjoy the gift of 46 years of marriage, seven children, and more than a score of grandchildren, and apply them to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!
Be happy at home!
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For the longer version of this Substack and much more on this topic:
My 3-volume book on Order and Wonder in Family Life: