How to make your tribe

or village, as it were

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As Sunday approaches and we begin to prepare for the day of rest (much needed after all that jumping up!), think about ways to form that community you long for — or if you are in a good community, ways to pull more people in.

I see so much in the timeline about how in the past, women had sisters living down the street and aunties, family all around, etc. The village was helping a mother raise her children.

Don’t let this be a sign for a pity-party. Lots of us raised our kids and felt pretty lonely (remember, there was a support desert but no internet for connecting!). But we learned some things about making a community; and I’m here to tell you what they are, if you need to know what to do. I learned them from the friends God blessed me with.

I put the ideas together, spurred on by a stray comment of my daughter’s about a “pocket” of faith she found where she didn’t expect it, and called it The St. Gregory Pocket. It’s not something I get you to sign up for, there’s no swag, I don’t manage anything. It does use the “collective memory” I have been trying to write about for almost 20 years on my blog as a springboard or catalyst for finding like-minded people.

It’s figuring out how to make a little “pocket” of people in a given geographical area who would like to get together organically, to share the seasons together, to help out when a mom has a new baby or someone is sick, to have kids who can play together, to have picnics where men can talk to other men who care about raising strong families in a counter-cultural way, and so on; going beyond book club to establishing friends for our children — the tribe, so to speak. Today’s little effort might lead to a wedding later. It happened to us!

You can read all about the St. Greg’s Pocket idea on my blog. I also write about it extensively in my book set, The Summa Domestica.

I’ll post some more about this here next week.

Sunday is a good day to put our heads above water, look around, and see how we can make connections in real life that lay the groundwork for a real community: that “village” or pocket we’re longing for. Today, Friday, is a good day to think about a little casual get-together after church, and what you would need to make it happen.

Thanks for being here! Apply my thoughts to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!

Who am I? Go here.

Be happy at home!

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For the longer version of this Substack and much more on this topic:

My 3-volume book on Order and Wonder in Family Life: