Femininity: the jeans problem
Hear me out!
Last week I said the challenge is having what we need in the closet. So, jeans?
I’ll probably scandalize a good bunch of my readers by saying I’m not against jeans. I was a teen in the 70s — it’s like a second skin in many ways, very useful, very practical, a uniform. A national costume, if you will.
I’ll probably scandalize another good bunch by saying they aren’t the best choice for femininity.
There’s a big difference, femininity-wise, between skinny jeans worn with some man-style t-shirt, and less tight ones (think, “boyfriend” or “bootcut” style) worn with a top that has a shape and some styling.
I did think the elasticized waist was a boon (like this — affiliate link). I don’t love metal over my pelvis, nor am I a fan of the metal button and thick placket constellation poking my top out just at the spot I’d rather not have extra volume. However, that kind doesn’t work for every shape. I happen to not have much in the hip area but more of a tummy.
Here’s the thing, though: women fluctuate in our shape all the time. We have ounces at different times of the month or pounds in different seasons of having babies or going through other changes.
Why be terrorized by your pants?
Why be made to feel fat a good deal of the time, when it’s just hormones?
Dresses don’t do that to the female psyche, nor do skirts with elastic in back.
I don’t know if modern women realize this, or the extent to which we are basically forced to obsess about our weight and shape every day, just because we are wearing jeans. I don’t know if modern women realize there is liberation from all that. I mean, if I need to lose weight, okay, but to focus on that day in and day out because my abdomen is being strangled and chafed — I don’t know, maybe we can do better?
Perhaps, though, this comfort situation explains the trend to leggings… much worse… a topic for another day.
Femme de l'Île Tudy
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As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, coming from my experience of 45 years of marriage and raising seven children, and apply them to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!
I know this wasn't your main point, but I do appreciate your nuanced approach to jeans! I see so many young Catholic moms falling into two camps: the "pants-are-basically-sinful" camp and the "wears-casual-pants-to-Sunday-Mass-but-not-leggings-so-it's-almost-like-dressing-up" camp. Neither has it right IMHO. Like you say, pants have their uses (and *can* be part of a feminine outfit if styled the right way...thinking especially about Helen's corduroy pants and blouse from this week's episode of All Creatures Great and Small). I wouldn't ever wear them to Sunday Mass, but I do find them useful for chores on Saturday (and no, I'm not wearing leggings and a t-shirt even then!). Let's step outside of rigid categories and look deeper to principles (i.e. the way I dress radiates the truth that I am essentially feminine).
THANK YOU! I rarely wear pants or jeans anymore, almost 100% skirts and dresses, because... they are just more comfortable! After 7 babies and 2 of them c-sections, I just can't deal with pants anymore. I have a few pairs of jeans that I mostly wear with a tunic or shorter shirt-dress (think collared shirt with a belt that well covers the bottom) and usually for gardening or heavy cleaning days. And the jeans have the elastic waist. I like the Nine West skinny jeans with elastic waist because you can easily tuck skinny jeans into a pair of boots (nice ones or work boots) without all the extra material bunching around. And I think skinny jeans look better with a shirt dress. I mostly don't feel comfortable having my bottom exposed anymore, even in a pair of dress pants or sturdy structured jeans. It makes me feel, well, uncovered. I suppose it's because I have gotten so used to wearing skirts and dresses for the last few years. I just don't feel dressed in a pair of pants and t-shirt.