Family first
Don't overbook yourself
The School for Housewives brings you short, practical, and thoughtful messages to inspire you to make your home. If you’re new here, go to the homepage for the previous Lessons; the categories are arranged in the menu bar at the top.
The glory of the housewife is her leisure.
That sounds odd. Mothers are very busy and feel the elusiveness of rest, but not being beholden to any outside commitments, as of a job, affords the housewife freedom to dispose of her time as she sees fit.
Beware of those who gobble your time (and rest) with your tacit or active permission. Volunteering for this or that can be good, but family life by definition is unpredictable —it’s why the family needs someone available, i.e. a mother. Failing to allow for unpredictability and your ability to respond is unwise.
Have confidence in your “No, I won’t be able to do that.” Make use of your “I would love to, but it’s not going to work at this time.” Don’t look to whoever is asking for affirmation. For them, the priority might be high; they might not have much insight into your needs or those of your husband and children or be thinking of them at all; but you are not answerable to that person. Your priorities are ordered differently (God, family, your own well being and sanity).
Bestowing the treasure of your time and energy is your prerogative, but it doesn’t really belong to you and you should take that knowledge to heart. Never apologize, never explain, never complain is the motto in such things! The truth is, following it is not easy for a woman, whose nature is ordered to helping others — but it’s a good lesson to learn.
As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, which come from my experience of escaping feminism to enjoy the gift of 46 years of marriage, seven children, and more than a score of grandchildren, and apply them to your situation with disce
rnment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!
Be happy at home!
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For the longer version of this Substack and much more on this topic:
My 3-volume book on Order and Wonder in Family Life:
I have been meditating on this for several days now- the concept of keeping our schedules relatively light SO THAT have plenty of room to be flexible & thinking of maintaining flexibility as a priority. Have you written about this more at length on your blog or in your books ( I have all of the above but have only scratched the surface of both ;) )? I'd love to read more if so!