Dinner together
The key to (eventual) enjoyment
The School for Housewives brings you short, practical, and thoughtful messages to inspire you to make your home. If you’re new here, go to the homepage for the previous Lessons; the categories are arranged in the menu bar at the top.
Whatever your phase of housewifery — a little or two, many small children, some bigs, some littles, a few stray bigs — aim for your family to have dinner together.
The core of dinner together is husband and wife. The children will come and go; the bedrock is the marriage.
Dinner with you is their [the children’s] privilege, not the controlling factor. You’ll get better results, behavior-wise, if you convey this sense. Don’t make them the center of attention while, paradoxically, keeping them to whatever standard is appropriate to their ages.
When you pray your grace, pray to God, with husband leading. Try not to look at your children to see if they are praying. You might give them the idea you are praying to them! You may certainly warn them beforehand that praying is about to occur, and what you expect of them (this warning is best coming from the father).
“Kids’ Quiet Time” — 10 minutes of quiet eating for the younger set while you and your husband chat — has many benefits: they eat, they are silent, they observe, they learn their place. All those things make them happier, I assure you.
Don’t worry. There are many days when things are not picture-perfect. Like everything worthwhile, calm at the table takes practice! Be patient, don’t expect perfection, keep trying, and before you know it, you will all be enjoying each other’s company.
As with everything here at the SFH, the best thing is for you to take my ideas, coming from my experience of 45 years of marriage and raising seven children, and apply them to your situation with discernment, prudence, and confidence — and a sense of humor!
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For the longer version:
My book on how to live with the Liturgical Year: The Little Oratory
Could you flesh out what you mean by, "Don’t make them the center of attention while, paradoxically, keeping them to whatever standard is appropriate to their ages."? I find this very compelling but also mysterious.